Helluva Happy Life

The road to hell is paved with good intentions…not sure how accurate that is but sometimes it feels that way. I believe I promised in my first blog that sometimes we’d mess up – today is the day.

The parking lot is one of my least favorite places on earth. It is a gauntlet of running children, distracted pedestrians and poor drivers. I’m always on the lookout for those who are not on the lookout. People get cranky over parking spots and impatient with each other – myself included. A parking lot simply does not bring out the best in people.

Then there is one final hazard – shopping carts.

I don’t claim to put my cart back every time…but I almost always do. I’ll even grab extras that are lingering about if they happen to be on my way. Well this particular day I noticed someone half turn into a stall but a ditched shopping cart was in the way. I gave them a wave, grabbed the cart and moved on. Simple. Good Deed. Everyone’s happy.

No. Not Everyone.

While moving the cart I cut through another empty parking stall…slowly…distracted…as I was also texting (sigh…I know…) until HONK! Apparently I was in the way of someone trying to park.

I waved, mouthed a ‘sorry’ and got my distracted butt out of the way. No biggy.

No. Wrong again.

“You are supposed to put the cart back at the return!”

Ummm….ok, rude stranger…we seem to have a misunderstanding…

I smile. “I’m on my way there now.” No point getting into an argument.

“Ya right! This is how I ended up with a scratch on my door last week. No one can be bothered to put their damn carts back!”

Deep breath. I try to ignore all the people(who I’m guessing are) staring at the angry lady hanging out her window.

  “I agree,” I reply through clenched teeth.  I turn to go.

…she is not done…

“How would you like it if one of those carts scraped your car door? Maybe you think about other people who use this parking lot.”

Biting my tongue until it bleeds. I get that this woman has misinterpreted what I was doing. She doesn’t seem receptive to my explanation so I save it. She’s probably having a rotten day. She’s obviously bitter about the scratch on her door – who wouldn’t be? I’m trying to give her this moment although I’m about 3 words away from snapping at her…

…when I hear the voice of an angel.

“Oh my gawd, lady. Shut up and park already!”

Another stranger. I love her instantly.

Rude stranger flies into the stall like Cruella DeVille and I’m thankful I’d moved out of her way.

My angel grins and winks at me. “Mind if I take that cart?”

I roll it over to her probably looking more stunned than grateful…hopefully  that wasn’t the case, and off she goes to do her shopping as if she hadn’t just made my whole day.

I’m not sure what the lesson is. My good deed kind of kicked me in the ass. A good Samaritan’s deed came in a rather prickly package but I am grateful none-the-less. And as far as the rude stranger – I hope her day got better from there. I try not to hold it against her. As I said, parking lots bring out the worst in people.

No good deeds go unpunished…but it’s still worth it 😉

Have a great week!

Xo

D

P.S

If you follow us, you might have noticed that it wasn’t my turn to blog. Conner has promised to be ready for next week 😉

I LOVE a mystery! I may have read a Nancy Drew or two growing up. I also love presents…I mean…who doesn’t, right? So imagine my glee when I came home the other day to find a beautiful basket full of fresh garden vegetables on my front step. As I love homegrown produce but suck at gardening, I’m always thrilled when people pass their veggie overflow my way.

But who left it?

This basket was lovely with big mesh bow. It was overflowing with potatoes, carrots, cucumbers, beets, squash and zucchini. Lucky me? Hell ya. The one thing it didn’t have – a note. This posted a dilemma for me. I really wanted to personally thank my generous mystery gifter, (be a good receiver: https://dainabenson.wordpress.com/2013/09/17/are-you-gifted/ ) but I get that sometimes people want to give a gift anonymously.

Hmmm…what to do?

My decision? I would use my near expert sleuthing skills learned by Nancy Drew and too many episodes of Elementary to find the clues, run down leads, catalogue the evidence and eventually track my mystery gifter…very exciting…

I may be embellishing the story a little. By sleuthing I mean I sent a text out to the top 8 people on my list of suspects and posted a general thanks on Facebook. But admit it – this is as exciting as produce related mysteries can get.

The second coolest part of this experience (first being my FANTASTIC basket of goodies…) was the response I got from my Facebook post and my texts. It seems everyone loves a mystery. I received messages all afternoon from curious friends who wanted updates on my veggie gifter. Did I find him/her? Did I have any clues? Was I going to share my goodies?  So Fun!

In the end my mystery gifter confessed and I was able to give her a huge thanks. My family enjoyed every delicious bite from that basket and we are all inspired to pay it forward. I hope this motivates some secret generosity in everyone – who do you know that would enjoy a little random kindness?

Thanks Veggie Faerie for the inspiration – there may be some goodies in store for you!

Xo

Daina

A few days ago, we had a surprise assembly about bullying. The RCMP made a video featuring a singing duo called “The Command Sisters.” The video is amazing and the Command Sisters have a very powerful meaning to their music.

I cannot lie; the video brought a few tears to my eyes.

It was more powerful because it was made around my hometown and it showed me that bullying is everywhere. They interviewed bully victims who told us their stories. It is amazingly cruel what other kids can do. All the words you say stick and you can never take it back. Think before you speak because one thing you say can cause a lot of harm.  

Personally, I have never been bullied and I am very lucky and happy that it does not happen to me. But that doesn’t mean that I could sit back and watch other kids be bullied. I want to shout out, “How do you think the people you bully feel?”

I am upset and confused with other people. Why do they treat each other that way? We need to work together to stop the situation.

I don’t know how to stop all the bullies. And I don’t know how to make all of the victims of bullies feel better. But I can be a very good friend. And I’m not afraid to stand up and be a leader. Maybe if enough of us stand up the bullies won’t seem so big.

Later Gators,

Kobe

This was an emotional one. I had hoped to link the video to the blog but it hasn’t been released anywhere publically. It was nice to see my kids so moved by the video. I hope other students felt the same impact. We want our children to feel empowered and confident and brave…idk I always feel like there are more than enough hugs to go around but am not so naïve to think that a hug can fix anything. We need leaders and I’m proud that Kobe feels confident to be one of them.

xo

Daina

Wanna make the world better but don’t know where to start? Here’s 5 simple ways to make a positive change. There are things like global warming, world peace, family connections, being kind, joyful leisure activities. But…in my case it’s more like recycling, no fighting, chill with family and friends, helping out, and do stuff I love. Let me break it down for you.

1. Be cool to our Planet!

We do things like recycling our bottles and cans and even our paper and plastics. Last week we had to fold cardboard for 45 minutes but we ended up having the biggest recycle pile in our whole neighborhood. Seriously – it was practically the Great Wall of China. The guy who picks up the recycle might not have been impressed but its that much less garbage in a landfill.

2. Be a Lover not a Fighter!

Well fighting with my brother happens but sometimes you have to let it go because, no matter what, its not going to change anything (except maybe make my mom mad…which will probably get me grounded) For example; my brother left our garage door open and someone stole my penny board. I was upset because I got that on a trip in Vancouver when I did the Sun Run last spring. I had to make the choice of whether to be mad at him or just let it go. Sometimes I can let it go more easily than other times. But he felt bad and being mad at him was not going to bring my board back. Maybe if we were all more forgiving there would be less war on our planet.

3. Chill’n like a Villain.

I love spending time with my friends but I always make time for family even if it is going to a grocery store with mom, or helping my dad fix his car. Yesterday my grandma came to our house for the night, and we watched a movie and had such a great time. When we have crisis in our lives need our families to help us through, but it means spending time together even when there is no crisis.

4. Be Kind if Kind

Acts of Kindness can mean helping cook dinner for my family or moving the neighbour’s garbage can for him. Yesterday morning I helped my mom take a rototiller out of her truck before she went to work. It feels good to make someone’s day and it takes no time at all.

5. Save time for the VIP

You are very important. Yes. YOU. You always need to save time for yourself or you end up being a pest because you’re grumpy.  Like, I scooter every day because it clears my mind. Maybe for you its reading a book or painting or driving with the music pumped up. You need to know yourself and be happy with that person before you can be a good friend or community member.

So these are my five simple steps. Feel free to change them up – I don’t mind. The point is that making a change for the better is super easy and you can do it your own way.

Stay sweet

Conner

As always, I love hearing my boy’s voice on these things. I was certainly happy to hear him say that he felt it important to spend time with the family. Having a teenager means accepting you will come second to their friends more often than not. I think that the casual tone he took in his blog (ie: Chill’n like a Villain lol) is such a great example of how simple it is to just be a good person. Be a good neighbour. Be a good friend. It isn’t a huge a deal and I think it comes rather naturally to each of us.

Have a great week!

xo

D,

So one of my oldest and dearest friends has had some health issues recently. We’ve all been there. As if you don’t feel crappy enough without the guilt of seeing the dishes stack up and hearing the laundry pile call your name. To top it off, people want to drop by and see how you’re doing. They mean well, they love you and want to offer their support. They don’t care about the disorder but I know that when it’s me in the sick bed I don’t want people to see my mess.

I told my boys I was headed to see how our friend was doing and to help tidy her house or throw in her laundry. They were immediately on board. I love that about them. So I visited my friend who I love so much, threw in her laundry, reorganized her pantry and the boys mowed her lawn (even pooper scooped her dog…er…poop) and entertained her toddler. We had a great visit. I wasn’t the only one who’d offered this help. She’d already had other friends come in and give her kitchen a spit shine and bring in food. She’s had no shortage of friends who’ve stepped up to support her in whatever way they were able.

This story isn’t only about sending some kindness to someone who could use it. It is about someone who could use it accepting that kindness. Our ego is always in the background whispering little words that make us feel less than. Swelling our pride to the point that these kind gestures hang unclaimed. Why is accepting help so difficult? I have been the guiltiest of this. I have never been good at receiving. It seems ridiculous that I’ve let my ego cheat me out of a warm cup of homemade soup when I’m sick. Or a free load of laundry (which is ironic considering how much time I spend avoiding my laundry pile!). It’s something that I’m working towards.

I am grateful to my friend for allowing us to help. Nothing feels better than giving a gift. We hand it over and wait eagerly for the recipient to open that gift. To see their face light up. To know that they appreciate the gesture. It feels sooooo great, doesn’t it? My kids felt good about what they’d done. They wanted to give a gift to someone they cared about. For her. For them.

There are loads of people out there full of love and generosity that are searching for the opportunity to share it. If it’s your turn, if you are the one who needs it, be a good receiver. It’s an energetic exchange. You are returning the favor by accepting their good intentions and giving them the gift of gratitude. Both of you will be inspired to spread more kindness into the world. By refusing, that flow of energy behind the gesture smashes like fine china on a brick wall. The shards are all that are left of something truly special. The receiver has missed an opportunity and the giver will be reluctant to extend those kindnesses again. There are two, equally important parts to a gift. We should be exceptional at both of them.

I’ll work on it if you will.

Xo

Daina

     Hi this is Kobe and I’m the youngest in my family and I love adventures. This story is showing how a big heart can change a lot. When my new neighborhood friends and I were outside playing on our scooters, one of their moms came over and said, “Do you know whose dog this is?” He was little, white and brown, and he looked very scared. At first we thought he belonged to a kid named J, but apparently J has a German Shepard. The little dog took off but later that day the dog was back on the street looking tired and thirsty. I know how it feels to be lost, when we were at Wal-Mart I got lost and all I wanted was to be safe with my mom.  

     So I went inside and grabbed one of my dog’s leashes and put it on his collar. I got him a nice, cool bowl of water and he drank it up greedily. He had no identification but we decided to walk around the surrounding neighbourhoods and see if anyone recognised him.

     I knew we were close when he became very excited and yanked hard on the leash. A kid named C came to us saying “Did you find that dog?” We told him the story and he said that the dog belonged to their neighbour but they weren’t home. We left a note on their door to call us when they got home. I went back home and I told my mom about the situation and she said let him in, but he ran and almost peed on the couch. My mom was NOT impressed. 

     Eventually we got the dog to his owner. Turns out his name is Lady – weird, right?

     Lady was so happy to be back at home. And his owners were happy too, but it sounds like he escapes a lot. This was a cool adventure to have with my friends and I sleep a lot better knowing that no one is lost. Lady ended up back with his family, the owners have their cute, weird-named dog back. The whole experience gave me a warm touch in my heart. I wonder if that’s what they felt too?

Later Gators!

Kobe

Well, that day was certainly an adventure. I’ll be honest, its not always easy  committing to a good deed. Adopting a lost dog for 4 hours when we have a little dog of our own (who doesn’t like other dogs in his home) is difficult. Plus, he DID almost pee on my chair. But I didn’t want this poor guy wandering around lost and tired any more than Kobe did. It was awesome to see all the kids in the neighbourhood work together to make re-homing this little guy a priority. As soon as one kid said “Hey, we need to find his owners” every kid joined in the task. Good deeds are infectious!

xo

Daina

Ever had a bad day? Everybody does. That is what I am writing about today. I like to change people’s moods from unhappy to happy.  They might be bored at work or mad about something that unfortunately happened to them. I always ask how peoples days are going or even a simple wave and smile. To see their reaction sometimes makes not only them feel good, but I also have that good feeling like I did a very big thing.

 One hot day this summer my friend and I stopped in at the local arena to use the drinking fountain. The manager was in his office and he looked frustrated. I ask him how was his day going and then we started talking about how busy it is during the summer. Pretty soon he was talking enthusiastically and his whole energy had changed. We said goodbye and he sat down at his desk, took a deep breath, then started working again. But this time he had a big smile on his face.

   You don’t have to do a lot to help someone’s day go by a little more joyful. Next time you see someone walking or working at a store or restaurant, ask them how their day is going and give them a big smile. It could change their whole day.

Stay Sweet!

Conner – 13                  

Man oh man, my kids are wise. This is such a brilliantly, easy way to create change. A big smile and a few kind words are all it takes. Only last week I was standing impatiently in line at the grocery store after a frustrating day. I seemed to take personally every agonizing second that ticked by. A lady tapped me on the shoulder and said ‘excuse me, where did you get your watch? It’s beautiful!’. I lit up inside. The next thing I knew we were chatting happily and I’d shifted from a very ugly place to lovely one in half of one of those agonizing seconds. It is so easy to change a person’s day. When you help someone shift into the spirit of caring, and they then hold a door for someone, who throws a smile someone’s way, who buys coffee for the person behind them in the drive-thru…you’ve caused a ripple effect of random kindness. To quote my co-worker; ‘it doesn’t cost a dime to be nice to somebody’. No – and you might just leave the world a little better than you found it.

Xo

Daina